


Today, Steve Trevor Has Come Home

by FanaticDomainExpert



Category: Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: F/M, Night Vale AU, POV Outsider, Radio, Typical Night Vale Violence, Typical Night Vale Weirdness, abandoned work, go forth into the world my child, or night vale-esque, this has been in my wip folder for way too long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-07 11:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12840195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticDomainExpert/pseuds/FanaticDomainExpert
Summary: Hello, dear listeners. A stranger came to our little town today. He’s not a stranger in the usual sense of the word, in that he hails from this very town that he’s come to visit. Many of you may remember Steve Trevor - you may have watched him grow up, you may have been a part of his childhood, he may have even been a member of your family at some point. Now, Steve Trevor comes to Grimsby in the same manner that he came into the world -  red, and raw, and covered in someone else’s body fluids. And I heard he’s a spy now? Wow. Life reallyiscyclical.





	Today, Steve Trevor Has Come Home

Every time I see you, my love, you knock me off my feet.

 

Please stop doing that. You know I bruise easily.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Welcome back, Grimsby.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hello, dear listeners. A stranger came to our little town today. He’s not a stranger in the usual sense of the word, in that he hails from this very town that he’s come to visit. Many of you may remember Steve Trevor - you may have watched him grow up, you may have been a part of his childhood, he may have even been a member of your family at some point. Now, Steve Trevor comes to Grimsby in the same manner that he came into the world -  red, and raw, and covered in someone else’s body fluids. And I heard he’s a spy now? Wow. Life really _is_ cyclical.

 

If you see Steve, make sure to whisper behind his back, “Who could this man _possibly_ be?” and “I sure don’t recognize him at _all_ ” and “He _definitely_ doesn’t owe me _anything_ , especially not the beers he promised me, the bastard.”

 

People of Grimsby, we want to make Steve Trevor feel welcome in his new, never before visited hometown. Not because he's one of us, but because he's not, and - between you and me, listeners - we really need better reviews on TripAdvisor. And who better to review us than a stranger that just arrived today? Not relying on nostalgia or prior attachment or anything. Nope. We are definitely trying to seduce him with our small town charm.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Speaking of seduce, here's the community calendar.

 

Monday - Speed Dating Night at the Grimsby Centre of Art and Culture has been canceled due to the lack of chairs. _We don’t know where they went_ , program director Archibald Jones said when asked for an explanation. _We’re very sorry for the inconvenience, but we just can’t continue without the chairs. What will people do, stand and get to know each other? Don’t be stupid,_ Jones concluded while rolling away on his leather office chair, humming the theme song to his favourite show about the zombie apocalypse, 'Friends'.

 

Speed Dating Night is canceled indefinitely and will resume when the chairs are found.

 

Tuesday - The time has come, Grimsby. The Widows and Widowers’ Hip Hop Association are now accepting applications for this year’s Dance Off. The application deadline is May 5th, and formal auditions are tentatively scheduled for later on in June. Please prepare a song and dance of your choice and perform it in front of the surveillance van closest to you. You may wear a mask to hide your face if you wish.

 

Wednesday - Wednesday is Steve Trevor’s birthday. We ask that you continue to pretend not to know him, but if possible, punch him consecutively for as many years he’s been alive. We promise that he'll understand.

 

Thursday - On Thursday, come to the waterfront for a taaaaaasty surpriiiiiiiise.

 

Friday - All bicycles will be erased from our reality during 8am to 4pm. There will be a traffic officer stationed on all major intersections during these hours. You will know who they are when you see a person in uniform standing in the middle of the intersection, directing vehicles with nothing protecting them from incoming traffic except pre-established rules and civil obedience. You might begin to zone out - you’re the sixth or seventh car in line, you’re not likely to go any time soon. Hey, is that a Denny’s? That’s strange. There never used to be a Denny’s on this road - you feel like you would have noticed, with the frequency that you drive and your affinity for fast food restaurants. Did the erasure of bicycles shift the balance of reality in more ways than the government predicted? Oh, no. You’re not supposed to know about bicycles anymore. Ohhhh, noo. The traffic cop catches the tail end of that thought, and locks eyes with you. You stare at each other - you, unable to tear away your gaze; them, honing in on their next victim. They beckon you forward. You ease off the brakes, skin numb in fear and anticipation. Are you going to be punished for your thoughtcrimes? Is _this_ how you’ll finally meet your end? A strand of hair falls out of your headband and into your eyes, breaking your eye contact with the cop. You slowly regain the feeling in your limbs, a honey-like warmth rippling upwards from your toes. The cars behind you lay on their horns. It is your turn to go.

 

Saturday - Mom, you and I are going shopping on Saturday. That’s right - I finally got some time off work! It took, like,  _months_ , but I finally convinced station management that me being seen in public spaces will not in any way affect the integrity of Grimsby Community Radio. Hmm. Wonder if that rose-tinted jean jacket is still in store.

 

Sunday - Folks, take it easy on Sunday. You’ve had a long week. Lay back on a furniture of your choice, and just...relax. It’s _fine_ . Everything’s _fine_. Don’t worry about it, my friend. Nothing’s going to happen to you. Don’t you trust us?

 

That was this week’s community calendar.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Oh! Listeners, it seems like we have an update on the stranger. Our intern, Princess Diana of Themyscira, known to most of Grimsby as Diana Prince, has been tracking him ever since he arrived in town. Diana started working for the radio a few weeks ago, after our previous intern… expired. Luckily for Diana, she revealed to us during a one-of-a-kind interview that she has skin that is impervious to bullets, and we, the Grimsby radio community, anticipate a successful future for her in the field.

 

I gave Diana a walkie talkie before she left the station, even though technically we _could_ just text each other, and Station Management has everyone who works here bugged anyway. I just thought it just seemed very… investigative journalist-y, y'know? And I even had it customized to match Diana’s armour!

 

Anywho, Diana has been reporting that the stranger, Steve Trevor, has entered numerous alleyways since this morning. He doesn’t seem to have any intent? He’s just wandering in and out of alleyways indiscriminately. Is he looking for something? Is he looking for _someone_? Ooo, now he’s vaulting over a fence. He has a very nice butt. Very shapely. Good for you, Steve.

 

Stay tuned for more, after a message from our sponsors.

 

 

* * *

 

 

There is a willow tree that droops over the waterfront. It’s said to have sprouted after the death of Grimsby’s founder, Tanner Pierce, as a tribute to all she did for the town, and a warning for those who seek to enshrine her final resting place despite her wishes. Willow trees are not native to Grimsby, as Tanner Pierce was not native to Grimsby. It is strange how places change when they’re given a name by an outsider - stranger, even, how the outsider is hailed as the first.

 

There is a willow tree that droops over the waterfront where Tanner Pierce used to sit whenever everything got too much for her - where she would sit and stare out into the water, letting the sound of water lap away at her anxiety, her anger, her fear of the changing world and her relieved disappointment when nothing changed at all. She would visit that spot many times during her life.

 

You’ve visited the willow tree before. You’ve been there many times during _your_ life. Some, mandated. Some, not. You’ve sat and stared in the very place the founder of Grimsby sat and stared, and you’ve tried to think about the very things that she did.

 

She would have laughed at your attempts to pay homage to her. _Fear is universal_ , she would have said. _You’re not honouring me by wallowing in your thoughts_ . _C’mon, buddy. You deserve better._

 

Look up at the willow tree in your mind’s eye. Can you visualize the messages engraved in the bark? What do they say? How do they look, juxtaposed with the your history with the willow and your knowledge of Tanner Pierce? Are the carvings fresh? What do they mean? Is it wise to separate result from intent?

 

Amazon Prime. Life is short. Get faster shipping before you die.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Okay, listeners. There’s been a complication of sorts. In the rather short amount of time it took to play the message from our sponsors, Diana Prince, our intern, has dove into the waterfront after the stranger. Yes - walkie talkie, bug, and all. Passersby have reported that before their abrupt entry into the water, the stranger was seen gesturing animatedly with his hands and whispering frantically to Diana. Not to make assumptions, but the two of them look like they _might_ share some history. Then again, we all have history with this enigmatic stranger who stumbles into his hometown purely by chance, centuries after he left to fight the good fight. I imagine there’s no shortage of people who would leap off a pier for him - myself included. Before I got this job at Grimsby Community radio, I - huh. Mm. Hey, Charlie, can you cover me for a bit? I’ll be right back, gotta take this. Yeah, no, Charlie, it’s fine - just cut to the traffic report, I won’t take long.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Here’s the traffic, Grimsby.**

 

**Nine missing persons reports have been filed with the Grimsby Police Department last month. That’s an average of about two people every week. Two whole human beings, gone.**

 

**Can you picture two humans? Are you picturing them together, or separately?**

 

**Two people, holding hands, walks down Madison Avenue with their dog. Two people, not holding hands, runs down Madison Avenue after a little boy. He is crying. Two people sit at opposite ends of a cafe, wanting to connect but unwilling to be the one to breach the safety net of anonymity. Two people stand side by side on the bus. They don’t know each other. They will get off at the same stop.**

 

**Did you know that there are at least two people in the world who share your face? At least two whole human beings who have your eyes, your nose, who share your cheekbones and the groove of your cupid’s bow. You, in turn, share the plumpness of their lips, the arch of their brow, the youthfulness in their face that time can never fully erase.**

 

**Here’s something to consider - how do you claim features as yours if you are not the only one who has them? Let’s forget about doppelgangers for the next one minute and twenty three seconds. The human consciousness likes to gravitate towards extremities, and while this is an admirable attempt to understand the universe as it is in our small and insignificant state, it can often hinder our attempts to actually understand.**

 

 **There are people in this world and the next who share and will share some part of you. That part may be a physical part - like a nose or an arm or the dimple that forms when you smile - or something less tangible. It may be an experience you share - like plunging into a pool at three in the morning drunk with giddiness and too much champagne - or a feeling - the calm that settles in your gut as you take in the waves tumbling over each other - or a thought - wait. Did you leave the stove on? You probably didn’t, but what if you did? You** **_didn’t_ ** **leave it on, right? Right....right? Oh god, what if you burn down your entire neighbourhood?**

 

**And no one has any claim over these parts and experiences and feelings and thoughts - except for in their own mind. So, listeners, I ask you this - what is the nature of ownership?**

 

**That was the weather.**

 

**You may think about doppelgangers now.**

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thank you, Charlie. For those who didn’t tune in to last month’s Citizen Spotlight show, Charlie is this station’s government sanctioned corporate ghost, and like a good neighbour, he’s always here. Also because his spirit is literally tied to the microphone in the recording booth, and Station Management refuses to budget for a new one.

 

Speaking of - the call was from Diana, our intern, and she said she’ll be a bit late returning to the studio. She didn’t mention why, only that she had a very pressing matter to attend to, but we’ve traced her bug and the surveillance cameras set up near the Sandelax Pier show that she and the stranger Steve Trevor have fished something out of the water. They’re attempting to move it some place, but it won’t budge at all.

 

Ha! Budge at all? _Budget_ all? Because Station Management refuses to - okay, okay, Charlie, I get it. Charlie’s knocked my coffee onto the floor in protest of that play on words. Kind of moot, since the cup was mostly empty anyways, but! Message received loud and clear, buddy, ha ha, you can put my phone back.

 

Please put my phone back.

 

Um. So! Big mysterious object has been transferred onto the back of a pick-up truck. It looks like a crate, which is weird, since Grimsby instated a ban on the manufacture and use of crates after The Incident With The Things. Huh. Not sure where they plan to take it, or what they want to do with it, or how they and their banned crate will evade the Secret Police by disguising themselves as Pet Control, Diana, and projecting a hologram of a giraffe onto the offending box, but! They seem very determined. There’s still a lot of hand gestures and all that good stuff. _No_ idea what any of it means. Seems like it might be espionage related? I’ll have to interrogate Diana if she gets back to the station in my lifetime. She’s typically extremely punctual and never misses a deadline, but we all know what happens when you start fishing stuff out of the water with a spy that you may or may not have history with.

 

I never did manage to finish telling you all about how I know Steve Trevor, did I? While Diana and Steve run from the Police, [here’s a story from me to you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxEi3pd5xvk).

 

 

* * *

 

 

-And then a few days later after all that, I landed a job here - at the radio station. I really am grateful for everything that Steve has done for me. I'd say I owe him a life debt, but my mother made me swear off life debts until marriage, so listeners - while I may not owe my life to him, I do owe Steve Trevor. And while he's back in town I plan to do everything in my power to help him until he decides to stay for good. Steve, I know I'm not the first person you might go to for help and guidance, but I'm here for you if you need me. 

 

Oh - uh! Hi there, Diana. Listeners, Diana Prince has entered the recording booth with... what seems to be a glowing lasso. She's walking towards me, legs wet, arms wet, hair wet - she jumped in a pier, everything is wet, okay, what did you expect, that the high speed chase with the Secret Police would dry it all off? That's not how trucks work, folks.

 

Uhhh... Diana is... wrapping the lasso around my wrists... um... Diana - Ms. Prince. I'm not opposed to, ah, this, but exactly what are you doing?

 

 

 

 

 

"How much do you remember about us, Etta?"


End file.
